“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try and try again!”
I think that saying might just be why I am so blasé about my weight losses and gains, because I know I can always dust myself off and try again. There is always tomorrow, next week, later or even worse…. another MONDAY! But don’t be fooled and stay focused, then you’ll never have to try again.
I have failed myself completely on my slimming world journey so far. 7 months of hovering around my start weight going up and down like a yo-yo. Then tonight I went to my group, saw the +3lb written in my book after two weeks of Christmas binging (making that a massive +7lb on my starting weight back in May) and I thought to myself I’ll try again. But this time I’m not waiting for my Monday, I am starting today.
I am really unhappy at my current weight. My clothes feel tight, I feel tired and uncomfortable in my own skin. I even took less pictures at Christmas this year because it shows me my overweigh reality and I cant bare to face it. But after todays reading on the scales I realised I have to. I have taken the dreaded underwear picture to look at when I need motivation. I have done my measurements and I have finally given myself a target with a deadline date. This is something I haven’t given myself yet, a timeframe in which to achieve my goal so perhaps that’s why I have been just plodding along enjoying the ride.
This morning I went back to work after a wonderful two weeks off at home eating constantly. It was a hazy mess of all the cheese, crisp, chocolates and mince pies I could handle (and doesn’t my face show it!). I don’t know why I’ve done it, perhaps because in the past I have always done such restrictive diets this is always my Christmas break mentality. In reality, on slimming world its completely unnecessary to go this crazy and off plan and to be honest its made me look and feel like utter crap. Today I was armed with a cool bag full of free food and ready for the day, I had; 2 wheatbix (healthy extra b choice), Almond milk (healthy extra a choice), blueberries, raspberries, tangerines, a banana and chilli and pasta.
When I arrived I was starving, I hadn’t had my morning cuppa and mince pie and there was still a ton of Christmas chocolates and biscuits hanging around. I guess from everyone else who had also had enough of the sight of it, however I was not tempted. I really want to do it this time, I want to reach my target and I want to feel free to enjoy food without worry. So I ignored all distractions and ate the food I had planned to and for once I actually felt really good about my choices. Annoyed at myself with the disappointment hanging over me that I could have felt this good all over Christmas and looked a little better in my Christmas party outfits had I managed to stayed focused.
At my group this evening I was listening to all the inspirational stories about how people have gotten to their target weight, or are almost there and I thought about how wonderful it would feel being able to tell my story and share my success. I have now added a new goal to my 2017 list – to be able to reach my target and help to inspire other people, who like me may not have the focus they need and encourage them not to give up no matter how many set backs occur.
I came home via my local supermarket armed with shopping to ensure I have the best week yet. I cooked low fat sausages, mustard mash and vegetables for dinner. It was so quick and easy I couldn’t even think of a good reason why I would give up when I am busy to order a take-away or just eat crisp. Slimming world meals are so easy to heat up and with some dedicated meal prep (like I do on my ‘good weeks) with something always to hand, the programme is effortless. I’m still struggling to see why I haven’t just followed it to the book and made it work for me but now I know that I am going to make it my number 1 priority.
I’ve spent most of the evening trying to think why I haven’t had more good weeks and tried to understand what has gotten in my way. I think mostly it’s self sabotage, my easily influenced personality and I’ll start again tomorrow mentality. Or perhaps I’ve spent to much time focusing more on work or my studies I have no energy left to think about my diet, but ultimately it boils down to these three things;
1. Failure to plan
2. Drinking too much alcohol at the weekend
3. Not writing things down
From now on I am going to do my best to plan my weeks and keep a food diary. I have just spent some time going through the kitchen and planning all of my meals, breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks (instead of just my dinners) for the whole week from tomorrow (Thursday). I then made a shopping list of the extra ingredients I will need for the week.
Now the hard part, I’m going out Saturday night with friends for a birthday, I had planned on driving to save syns (and a Sunday hangover) but this never ends well as I am easily lead by those closest to me. It normally results in me being adamant on driving until around 6pm at pre-drinks when we are getting ready, then I give up with the age old saying ‘can’t beat em, join em’ in the back of my mind. I’ll end up eating on the way home and being so hungover Sunday I don’t prepare any of my meals and I order pizza. Not this week! After discussing it with my friend, I have a now have new plan as I know I am likely to cave under her peer pressure.
THE PLAN: cook a massive filling free food breakfast early Saturday morning followed by a large free dinner late afternoon. Do my meal prep for the week Saturday morning, instead of Sunday. Make slimming world chips for when I get home, dodge the kebab house. Make sure a quick, carb-laden meal is quickly heated with Sunday’s sore head! Here’s the genius part, I will use all my syns only on Gin & slim line tonic. Whilst I’ll probably go over my 15 syn allowance, I am hoping that having all my free food in the fridge will make life easier and stop me eating junk whilst a) under the influence and b) to hungover to move.
This is my yo-yo journey so far from week 1… -0.5lb, -1.5lb, maintain, +3lb, -3.5lb, maintain, maintain, +2.5lb, + 1lb, +0.5lb, -0.5lb, +0.5lb, -3lb, -2lb, +2.5lb, -0.5lb, maintain, -1.5lb, +0.5, +4, -2, -0.5, +3.5, +1.5lb, +3.5lb.
The lowest I went below my starting weight was -3.5lb and the heaviest I am, today, +7lb over my start weight. Seeing it written out has really made me think, overall the combined pounds I’ve loss over 7 months is 15.5lb’s WOW, can you imagine where I would be now? Halfway to my target if I hadn’t gained a combined 22.5lb’s! I guess this is what I needed to see, a little perspective to show I can do it, if I stay consistent!
Look at me, a girl with a plan. It might not be a great plan but its a hell of a lot better than I have had before. Other than what I drink Saturday night I will spend the rest of the week within my daily 15 syn allowance. Here’s hoping for a loss next week and every consecutive week there after.